Saturday, September 28, 2013

We're going to Candy Mountain

Yesterday for Social Studies my class read an article that included some legends regarding various mountains in Utah. One legend spoke of a tribe who chose to sacrifice a woman, Utahna, to the mountain god Timpanogos so he'd stop making it famine and such. While Utahna was hiking to the highest cliff to throw herself from, she ran into Red Eagle, a man from another tribe, who fell in love with her instantly and pretended to be Timpanogos so she wouldn't off herself. They married and lived happily until Red Eagle was attacked by a bear and Utahna figured out that her husband wasn't the godly specter he pretended to be. So she ended up plunging herself off a cliff anyway! And then Red Eagle pined away next to her body until he died, too.

Such a heartwarming story.

One of the comprehension questions that accompanied the article asked, "Why did Red Eagle pretend to be the mountain god Timpanogos?"

And this is what one of my boys wrote: "cause Red knew she was a hot one"

I'm still laughing.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

". . . I'm thinking about trying to shove them in a Pop Tarts box before wrapping."

Once upon a time I was perusing Pinterest, when I came across a recipe for a funnel cake. I logged that one away, for future reference.

And then today I was looking through my boards and thought to myself, "Self, I think you should make a funnel cake! You should make a funnel cake RIGHT NOW!"

So I proceeded to do so.

I halved the recipe, which said it made one cake, because the amount of ingredients made me sure it would feed a small family.

I should have fourthed it.

The funnel cake, which ended up being multiple separate lumps of crispy fried goodness rather than one cohesive confection, was larger than the size of my face. And while it was delicious, I've only been able to eat about half of it. The other half is staring at me from the plate, growing soggier by the minute, looking very forlorn. Alas, Jacob is working tonight and is thus unable to partake.

Too much birthday.

Friday, September 20, 2013

Cheerleader! So-and-so! Whatsherface! THE UGLY ONE!!!

I've been holding off on writing this post for a bit because I didn't want to jinx myself, but here goes:

Four weeks into the school year, I love my class. And while I can't speak for all my students, I'm fairly sure they love me, too. Or at least I think they like me.

Now, of course it isn't all sunshine and roses. I have a couple students who have a hard time following the rules or staying focused and finishing their work. But I will take a couple students like that over a third of the class, like I had last year, any day!

Most of my students are adorable. And well behaved. And they turn in their work. It is fantastic. I was grading spelling tests today, and whenever I came to a new test I thought things like, "Oh, I just love _____!" One girl wrote in the margin of her test "Spelling tests rock" and "I hope I pass." Earlier this week, another girl turned in a homework page that she had written out on binder paper because she spilled water on the copy I gave her. And get this -- she even wrote out the word problems before answering them! And she wrote an explanation which included "I hope this is okay" at the top. Girl, please. You wrote out the word problems! And you turned in your homework! Of course it's okay!

I'm really enjoying the boys in my class, too. They have such fun personalities and for the most part seem eager to please.

I can't express enough how much happier this has made my life. I'm enjoying teaching! I can banter with my students! I don't feel this heavy sense of dread every Sunday night anymore!

Is that enough exclamation points for you? Really, I'm feeling very blessed this year. My class has two more students than I had last year, but it feels smaller because they're so much more manageable. After last year, I wasn't sure I wanted to come back to teaching. I'm so glad I came back to have a positive experience!

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Chillin' like a villain

Fall is in the air. And I'm SO EXCITED. Bring on the pumpkin patches, corn mazes, haunted houses, and autumn leaves!

Excerpts of conversations I've had with Jacob:

Trying to convince Jacob to buy candy corn: "But candy corns are the best corns of all!"

Perusing Stephen's Hot Chocolate's website to see what flavors are available: "Here's some ideas of what you can get me for Christmas. I want white chocolate, and hazelnut, and raspbs (raspberry). And if orange creme ever comes back, I want like FIVE of those."

. . . Okay, so maybe those are the only conversations regarding the changing seasons I can remember. Well, besides me declaring "we MUST go to a pumpkin patch!" just about every single day. What can I say? Fall is my favorite!

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Oh, peaches. (Or The Lord of the Flies)

The last time we went grocery shopping, I decided we needed to up our fruit intake and we invested in many pounds worth of apples, grapes, and peaches. I rather enjoyed alternating between the varieties in my lunch each day. Alas, we weren't able to eat all of the fruit before it went bad, and sometime early last week, I ended up throwing the last two peaches away.

Later that afternoon, one of our neighbors asked us if we'd be interested in some peaches, as they had too many and were looking to get rid of some. Well, of course we were! Free foodstuffs? Delicious fruit? Count me in! And I was really quite sad about not having any more peaches, as the previous ones had gone the way of the dumpster.

I wasn't quite expecting a huge grocery sack full of peaches, but that's what we got. Hey, the more, the merrier. I immediately set out eating at least two a day because 1) they were delicious and 2) we had a TON of peaches. And I didn't want them to go bad again!

I meant to bring the leftovers to work last Friday, as I was sure Jacob and I wouldn't be able to polish them off in a timely manner. And let's be honest, I was doing all the work around these parts. I don't think Jacob ate a single peach. Way to not pull your weight, husband. :)

So Saturday rolled around, and I decided to have a peach with my lunch. But horror of horrors! Overnight the peaches had begun to rot, and what's more, when I opened the grocery sack, a swarm of fruit flies flew out! I immediately closed the bag in an attempt to trap the flies and took it out to the dumpster.

The damage had been done. Fruit flies were mingling in our kitchen as though it were a ward social. Rude.

Fortunately, I knew just what to do! I'm no stranger to the fruit fly. The semester I was engaged, the apartment I moved into was swarming with fruit flies, and I found a trick on the Internets to trap the flies.

I retrieved a bowl from the depths of the cupboards, splashed a little apple cider vinegar in the bottom, and then sealed it with plastic wrap. After securing the ends liberally with generic Scotch tape, I wielded a toothpick and poked multiple holes in the plastic wrap. The apple cider vinegar is supposed to seduce the flies into crawling through the holes in the plastic wrap, thereby trapping them until they either drown or die of natural causes. (The number one natural cause being that fruit flies have incredibly short life spans.)

After setting the trap, I settled down in a chair to wait. I wanted to see the fruits of my labor! Pretty quickly, flies began landing on the bowl and crawling around the plastic wrap. Oh yes, they were intrigued.

Mentally, I began cheering them on, much like a spectator at a football game. "Go for it! You can do it! No, you're going the wrong way!" And so forth.

It became apparent that while the fruit flies wanted to investigate the vinegar, the holes weren't large enough for them to crawl through. So I took my toothpick and made those holes a little bigger (scaring away the flies in the process, of course.) Once again, I waited and watched.

It turns out that fruit flies, like a watched pot, do not boil under investigation. Unlike a watched pot, they also don't crawl into death traps while being scrutinized. So I decided to make myself a sandwich and observe from a distance. Finally! I had captured some flies!

Then I noticed that one edge of the plastic wrap wasn't exactly taut, so I decided to secure it with more tape. And as I jostled the bowl, one of the flies flew back out of a hole.

Well, then. Trap fail.

I wielded my tape and taped up some of the larger holes, in an attempt to make it more traplike and less like a come-and-go-as-you-please buffet.

Eventually, I did tire of watching the flies, so I went my merry way, off to grade papers or plan lessons or such. But I did check on the trap from time to time, and I was pleased to notice the number of flies increasing.

Once Jacob woke up, I announced to him about my prowess. "I'm a mighty huntress . . . stalking my prey!" I declared, proudly. Jacob seemed a little more skeptical about the process, but he humored me.

Also: remember how I had to throw peaches away for the second time in a week that Saturday? That very evening, yet another neighbor came to our door, bearing yet another ginormous bag of peaches. Apparently I don't need to shop for peaches ever again, because I can rely on the kindness of others to supply my fruit needs.

Back to the flies. Over the next several days, I kept a close eye on my trap, counting how many flies were in there from time to time. Unfortunately, none of them were really dying. Also, the number was decreasing, so they were obviously escaping. I squished one of them when it crawled too close to the rim of the bowl, and I think Jacob squished another one some time later.

Today, as I was cooking dinner, I had several fruit flies buzzing around me. Well, that's not quite accurate -- fruit flies don't buzz. But they were flying, and it was annoying. Enough was enough. I beckoned Jacob and entreated him to do something about these flies.

He immediately started clapping the flies between his hands, effectively snuffing the life out of them in about .2 seconds. He continued this practice, and within ten minutes had gotten rid of the majority of them.

Final kill count:
Clever-somewhat-humane trap: 2
Brute force: 20+

Jacob wins again.