Hark! I hear a damsel in distress!

In the past week or so, I've started feeling this sense of urgency to get Marie to take naps in the crib rather than her swing or in my arms. We introduced the crib to her, and it hasn't been going super well. This is what my morning has looked like thus far:

9:00: Put Marie in the crib. She falls asleep quickly. Success!

9:30: Marie wakes up. Failure. 

9:35: Perhaps she's hungry. Feed the mancub!

10:00: Put Marie in the crib. She falls asleep. Victory!

10:12: Marie wakes up. Failure. Resolve to keep her in the crib to help her learn to fall asleep on her own.

10:15: Resolve crumbles. Retrieve Marie from the crib.

10:30: Sneak Marie back into the crib because she's looking drowsy still. 

11:08: Marie wakes up. Maybe she's slept long enough to stay awake for awhile? Nope, she's still grouchy.

11:22: Once again, she starts to fall asleep while holding her. Back to the crib, offspring!

12:53: She's still sleeping? Resist the urge to wake Marie up so I have someone to play with. 

Promises you don't intend to keep

Apparently, Jacob and I need to brush up on the lyrics to lullabies:

Jacob: Rock a bye baby, in the treetop. When the wind blows, the cradle will flop.

Me: Hush little baby, don't say a word. Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird. And if that mockingbird don't sing, Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring. And if that diamond ring don't . . . shine, Mama's gonna buy you a porcupine.

At least Marie doesn't seem to care that we're butchering the words to the classics.

Top 5 signs you may be married to a teacher

You may be married to a teacher if . . .

5. The most helpful thing you can do for your spouse is help grade papers.
4. You know the names of 26 kids you've never met.
3. You've ever had to reassure your spouse that the failed math tests does not mean s/he is a bad teacher.
2. You find yourself being roped into coming to school on Saturday to help pack up a classroom. (The Powers That Be, WHY did you think it was a good idea to do construction on the school over the summer, necessitating everything be packed in boxes before the school year is even over?!)
1. While talking to your spouse at church, s/he tells you to "turn your voice off."

There's a snake in my boot!

Right now, I'm running a pioneer simulation with my class. Think Oregon Trail, minus the hunting and Aunt Carol screaming during the rafting (and the computer altogether), and adding in diary entries, coin tosses, and checker tossing to determine the fates of the pioneers.

I divided the class into wagon trains and each student picked an identity from a list which informed them of their family members, occupations, and animals. Then each student had to decide which supplies they were going to take with them in their wagon.

At the start of the simulation, one boy asked me how much time the simulation covered. He was very concerned because his wife was five months pregnant, and he wanted to know if he needed to bring a baby cradle, should his wife give birth on the trail.

Then on Wednesday, one of my students failed to throw a checker into a trash can over his shoulder from ten feet away, so he was shot in the arm with an arrow during a fight with Native Americans. The fate dictated that he had to wear his arm in a sling for the next two days. I could've brought one of the gender neutral baby blankets we have for him to use as a sling, but you better believe I made him wear the one with the pink fairies on it. (If only I had thought to take a picture!)

On two separate occasions, pioneers on a certain trail lost livestock if, from 20 feet away, they failed to throw a checker less than 12 inches from the wall. Friday a boy asked me, "Mrs. Erickson? How am I pulling my wagon? I don't have any more animals!" For some reason I thought this was hilarious and couldn't stop laughing. I told him that perhaps someone else on his wagon train let him borrow a cow. Bahaha.

They don't know it yet, but at the end of the simulation, very few of them will actually make it to their destination alive. I can hardly wait! Mostly because by the time we get there, school will be almost out for the summer! Woohoo! (Those of you who have already finished the school year, bite your tongue. I don't want to hear it.)