This is the story of a girl

Every so often (read: between five and twenty times a week), I ask Jacob to tell me a story. Usually, his stories go something like this:

"Once upon a time there was a beeeautiful girl. And this girl [insert random activity I've recently done, like "read lots of books" or "body slammed her husband"]. The End."

Sometimes the stories are about a boy instead. (That's Jacob, in case you were wondering.) And sometimes, they're even about the boy AND the girl! Ho ho!

Today, I want to tell you a different kind of story. Here goes:

Once upon a time, there was a girl. (That's me.)

This girl went off to college her freshman year and had a beeeeautiful roommate named Kristin.

Kristin did many important things for this girl, like instructing her to part her hair to the side instead of the middle, expanding her musical horizons, and -- most importantly -- refraining from killing her roommate when her shoes mildewed after going puddle jumping and she had to stick them in the freezer to try to kill the smell.

After their freshman year, Kristin and the girl went their separate ways, but they still stalked each other's blogs and facebook pages and such.

Kristin married a handsome man named Cameron.

Image stolen shamelessly from Kristin's facebook. Hope that's okay!

Kristin and Cameron want to start a family of their own, but it's going to take some pricey medical treatments for that to happen.

Here's where you come in.

They're holding an online auction on June 24th and 25th to help raise money to cover the $25,000 price tag for the treatment. They're looking for people to donate items for the auction, and I know some of you are crafty enough to have your own Etsy shops or small businesses and the like. Would you be willing to donate for a worthy cause?

Or, if you don't think you have anything to donate, would you be willing to prowl the auction site instead?

You can read all about it here: Go Team Call

Let's help make their dreams come true!

The End.

The DI special

Yesterday, Jacob and I visited our local Deseret Industries, which is Jacob's Happiest Place on Earth. He talked me into buying three pairs of jeans there, which I suppose are just fine but not exactly what I envisioned when I was planning to put my graduation money toward a new wardrobe. He also talked me into buying this shirt:

The only problem is, I can't decide if the shirt is stylish or just plain tacky. A quick glance in my closet reveals that almost all of my shirts are one solid color, and that the closest I get to any actual "style" is sometimes having a collar on my shirts. Impressive, I know.

So before I start pushing all these crazy buttons, I need your input. Is it stylish? Tacky? Should I refrain from wearing it in public? Only wear it on Halloween? I don't want to commit any major fashion faux pas. You may cast your votes on the poll on the right.

Many thanks.

P.S. This is one of the reasons I need a female influence whenever I go clothes shopping. I texted this photo to Heather asking for her opinion, but she wasn't able to respond before the deed was done. Oh, the angst!

On becoming a respectable member of society (or more photos of my feet than you could possibly ever wish to see)

If you're friends with me on facebook, you may have already seen the announcement that I recently threw away 17 socks that were afflicted with numerous holes. "Big deal," you may be thinking. "I throw away hole-y socks all the time." 

Well, tell me this: Did your socks ever look like . . . THIS?

Yes, that's four (4) holes in one (1) sock.

I had previously kept all of these hole-y socks because, well, I didn't want to fork out the cash to buy new socks. Fortunately for me, my dad was willing to spend a little money when he came up for graduation to help his daughter look a little less like a hobo and a little more like a respectable college graduate. Not only did he buy me new socks, but he also bought me two new pairs of shoes.

Take note of the following pictures: I wore hot pink socks on the "before" shot to more fully accenuate the condition my old shoes were in. Also please note how I am no longer wearing running shoes with jeans in the "after" shot. I know, I'm going to get offers for writing for a fashion magazine at any moment now.







Now I just need to buy some new jeans and I think I'll have the no-longer-a-homeless-bum look down pat!

EDIT: When I texted Jacob about how I threw away all those socks, he responded: "No!!! Not the holy socks!! You  have to wear those forever!" Apparently he had a fond attachment for them. 

Graduation, part II (or the really long post where I brag about my husband and use way too many parenthetical remarks)

Last Thursday was Jacob's graduation from the Police Academy. It was a much shorter ceremony than BYU's, which was appreciated by all in the audience (and by "all" I mean "all the family members on my side who were subjected to attend both").

Getting sworn in. Or something along those lines.

 Jacob's mom and younger brother flew in for the occasion, which ended up being a very short trip for them -- they were in Utah for less than 24 hours before taking off again. It was nice that they were able to attend Jacob's graduation and visit for a little while.

Jacob with the Sergeant

After the graduates all received their certificates, the sergeant presented some special awards. Some awards were for high academic achievement, others for physical fitness. One student -- and I'm not making this up -- even received a trophy for the "fastest gunman award" (which apparently was earned after a contest of sorts involving man-shaped targets and balloons).

Jacob received an award, too: The Most Improved Shooter award. Those of you who are related to us know how hard he had to work to pass his qualifers -- he spent hours in our living room practicing his draw stroke, reloading, and dry firing at a man-shaped target on our wall. This, plus a combined family effort of fasting and prayers, helped him easily attain the required scores on his last chance to take the shooting qualifiers. So naturally, in my biased opinion, he was very deserving of the award.

At least it's a tasteful plaque instead of a trophy.



And while I'm on the topic of my husband, allow me to indulge in highlighting some of the sweet manly husbandly things he's done lately:

Thursday night, after dropping his mom and brother off at their hotel, we were exhausted and headed to bed. I couldn't find my cell phone, which doubles as my alarm clock, but I decided I would just look for it the  next morning. After all, Jacob has his own alarm clock, and I could just wake up with him.

Friday morning, his alarm went off and we both got up. I looked in the mirror and was horrified to discover that my right eyelid had mysteriously swollen up overnight, giving me the appearance of Quasimodo. Jacob hopped in the shower, being the hygenic soul that he is, and I embarked on my search for my cell phone.

I could hear it ringing, because the alarm is set to automatically go off every weekday morning at 5. I looked for it under the couch cushions, where it usually is. No dice. I pulled the couch forward a little bit to see if it had fallen underneath. Nothing.

It didn't take long until I reached the distressing conclusion that my phone had actually fallen inside the couch frame, through the crack between the armrest and the seat. I repeatedly thrust my arm into the crack, desperately trying in vain to reach my cell phone. All the while I was thinking things like "I'm never going to get my phone back. And it's going to RING forEVER and we'll go slowly mad because we can't get it!"  and "We're going to have to chop the armrest off the couch to get my phone!" (I may or may not have already been going mad at this point.)

I soon gave up my efforts and laid down, one arm dramatically strewn across my face. I looked like the Hunchback, I was still tired, and my phone was gone forever!

When Jacob came out of the shower and asked what was wrong, I told him, quite pathetically, "My phone is inside the couch and I can't get it out." And then, I started to cry. Actual tears. And Jacob, being the sweet manly husband that he is, refrained from laughing at me. He just told me not to worry about it, to make him his sandwiches (but not in a sexist, Woman! Make me a sammich! kind of way), and he'd get it for me.

The whole scene, in all its pathetic glory.

So while I tried to keep my tears from mingling in the peanut butter, Jacob set to work at hefting the couch up on its side (which is no small task, as it's kind of a beast of a couch). Before I had even finished putting the sandwiches in a bag, he set my phone on the the counter next to me and walked away without a word. Incredulous, I asked him how he had retrieved my phone. It turns out that our couch has a hole in the upholstery on the bottom, and he was easily able to get my phone through that access point.

Did I already mention that he did not once laugh at my predicament? And that he's clearly much more rational than his wife?

Okay, one more quick story in this already very long post:

Saturday we went on a major shopping trip. We stopped at five or six stores, and ended up not even buying anything until the second to last one. By the time we hit our last store for groceries, we had been shopping for close to three hours. And if you know me at all, you know that shopping is not my most favorite thing to do.

It wasn't too much longer until a switch flipped inside me and I turned into Sir Grumpsalot. I was sick of shopping, and I just wanted to go home and watch figure skating on TV. Jacob was doing his best to cheer me up, but I wasn't cooperating. Suddenly, however, he started humming a little too innocently. I looked in the shopping cart and noticed that he had snuck a package of Little Debbie Cosmic Brownies in there for me. I haven't bought them in a few months because they're overpriced and certainly not very healthy, but I do like them quite a bit. When I looked back at him, I couldn't help smiling.

Oh, Jacob. He's a peach. :)