"Do my legs look any shaplier today?"

Hear ye, hear ye:

I'm about to share possibly too much information over the Internet that you probably definitely don't need to know, but are going to read about anyway, because let's face it, how can you not be intrigued by a lead like that?

::clears throat::

I've recently noticed that my hands alternate between getting moderately sweaty and super, super dry (as in, to the point of peeling and looking leprous). This may not present a huge problem right now, but imagine what will happen the first time a gentleman caller tries to hold my hand!

Option 1: His hand will slip out of mine, as if our hands were coated in Vaseline or something. I will furtively wipe my hands on my jeans and hope he tries again, but he'll probably be too grossed out and will never speak to me again. Lose 10 points.

Option 2: He will be shocked and appalled to discover the flakiness of my hands, and as I probably won't have any lotion on me (because that isn't the kind of item I regularly tote around), I will be unable to rectify the situation. He will find some excuse to let go of my hand and will never speak to me again. Go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

So you see, I'm in a bit of a pickle. Unfortunately, my hand dilemma does nothing to deter the creepy guy in my country dance class from caressing the backs of my hands whenever he dances with me.

Jibblie, jibblie, jibblie.