Me, sitting in bed with my laptop, notebook, box of Kleenex, and a small container of Mentholatum, which in this case means "ointment you rub under your nose to help clear up the ol' congested nasal passages": coughs weakly and, as it so happens, fakely. "Do you want to get me some ice cream for my poor, ailing throat?
Jacob: "No."
I go back to my homework and Jacob leaves the bedroom. After a few minutes, I decide to stop being lazy and get my ice cream myself. Jacob is standing in the kitchen with a carton of ice cream and a package of waffle cones.
Jacob: "It's supposed to be a surprise!"
I cover my eyes and quickly tiptoe back to the bedroom. (Why I tiptoed, I do not know.) Jacob enters a few moments later, with an ice cream cone that he presents to me with great flourish.
Me: "Oh! I'm so surprised!"
And that's why he's (to steal a phrase from Heather) the best in the west.
P.S. I wrote almost that entire entry one-handed, as I was holding an ice cream cone in the other hand. It was tricky.
