Bedtime Stories

I recently found out, to my shock and horror, that Jacob had never read the classic children's story Goodnight Moon. So yesterday we went to the library and I checked the book out and read it to him.

If your childhood was similarly deprived, the book is [SPOILER ALERT!] about a little bunny who says goodnight to the various objects in his/her bedroom. It incorporates quaint rhymes like "goodnight kittens and goodnight mittens."

I enjoyed this book as a child well enough, but the real joy came when I was a teenager.

You see, when my sister Heather and I shared a room back in the day, she would often ask me to tell her a bedtime story. And I would invariably pattern such stories after Goodnight Moon.

You, too, can make your own Goodnight Moon story with very little thought involved! Just follow this formula:

Each stanza contains four lines. The first line is always "Goodnight moon." The rest of the lines are "Goodnight ________." On the third line, the blank should be filled in with an object in the bedroom. (The second and fourth lines may also include bedroom objects, but a little more leeway is given. Also, the fourth line can be somewhat unconventional/creepy/scandalous.) The second and fourth lines must rhyme. (Or, if you want a throwback to high school English, each stanza has an abcb rhyme scheme.) At the conclusion of the story, it ends simply with "Goodnight moon."

For example, this is a similar story to what I told Jacob last night while we were trying to fall asleep:

Goodnight moon,
Goodnight stars,
Goodnight closet,
Goodnight cars.

Goodnight moon,
Goodnight fan,
Goodnight carpet,
Goodnight creepy white van.

Goodnight moon,
Goodnight clothes,
Goodnight dresser,
Goodnight garden hose. (When I was telling the story last night, I had to insert "garden" lest Jacob interpret it as a different kind of hose.)

Goodnight moon,
Goodnight bed,
Goodnight lamp,
Goodnight head.

Goodnight moon.

Isn't that just precious? After laying awake for a few more minutes, I asked Jacob to tell me a bedtime story. He interpreted the rules a little differently. This was his version:

Goodnight belly button,
Goodnight tongue,
Goodnight LICK JENNIFER ALL OVER!

At that point I had to launch myself away from him, lest he carry out the threat. So he never finished his story.

Alas.