Tootin' our horns

At work, I have the . . . privilege (and I don't even want to admit how many tries it took to spell that word correctly before finally asking Jacob) of teaching the fourth graders to play the recorder. I am sure you are all seething with jealousy right now. We teach recorders in fourth grade to help teach rhythm and hand-eye coordination and musicality, but also primarily so we can perform some songs at an assembly in the gym.

We're trying something new for our school program this year. Last year, we put on a small program for the third and fifth graders to attend that focused mainly on Utah history sprinkled with songs and recorder performances. It was also held sometime in April, I believe. This time? We're putting on The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, which the whole school will attend. And we only have one more full week to practice before the performance. And we really didn't even start practicing until a couple weeks ago.

So we've been cramming Christmas tunes and the words to The Grinch down the throats of our students. Let's be honest, I was veeeeery nervous about how the recorders would sound with the Christmas songs we planned when we first started. Let's just say that the sounds emitting from the instruments weren't even recognizable as melodies.

As I've been teaching each class, however, I've been extremely pleased with the progress of the students. Perhaps we may not perform the most beautiful version of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" ever, but at least the students are hitting the right notes at the right time.

With one exception. My class.

My class is just not musically inclined, apparently. The other teachers in charge of the singing have commented that my class has the hardest time remembering the words and singing the right notes. I'm noticing the same pattern with recorders. Bless their hearts. Would it be terrible to suggest that they lip synch and just pretend to play the recorder without actually blowing into it? Yes? Darn.

But at the end of the day, my class has skill where it really counts -- academics. I just graded their benchmark tests, and the average grade for my class is 16 percent better than my class average for last year. SIXTEEN PERCENT! It's a Christmas miracle!

Yep, I'll keep my students, tone-deaf or no.